Hard is not impossible…
Hard is not impossible...
A couple of years ago, my mom had a stroke. It was a scary moment, followed by more scary moments, and it was all I could do to be thankful that she was still here. That I was feeling fear instead of grief.
Over the years, I’ve watched my mom relearn how to walk. Remember how to formulate and communicate her thoughts. Things that she, and I, have taken for granted since before we can even remember.
One day, we were having a conversation about something that she needed to do; something that would take a little more effort and time than she had been required to exert in quite a while. At some point during that conversation, I held her hand and told her, “I know it’s hard, and I’m sorry it isn’t easier. But remember - hard is not impossible.”
The words weren’t extremely profound. A basic inequivalence, honestly. But I could see the moment they landed for her. This was not something that she didn’t know, but it was something that she needed to remember.
Five months ago, my position at work was eliminated. And for many reasons, both obvious and not, my primary emotion was fear. Eventually, the pressures and reality of the world around me forced me into action.
Life can be a championship fighter - it doesn’t end or pause to allow you to absorb all of its blows. I have lost and regained confidence. I have struggled to feel worthy. I have watched the boons of others with pride and satisfaction, and sometimes with a small but persistent fear that that’ll never be me again. I’ve emptied retirement accounts with the hope that I can replace and even grow those funds eventually, for when I need them again. My best friend passed away unexpectedly, and I lost a month to a deep fog of grief that I didn’t even recognize until it began fading away.
Recently, during one of the many times my mom has called to check on me, we were talking through a lot of this. I try to remain positive, not only for me, but for those who I know are worried about me. But I had to admit it; I could not shield her from the fact that I am feeling these things. That this has been so, so hard. And my mom heard me out, sat with me (virtually, over the phone), and reminded me that hard is not impossible. A sentiment that I knew, but of which I needed reminding.
While I’m starting a business of my own, sometimes the reality of the capitalist and increasingly isolationist society in which we find ourselves really begins pressing in. But I’ll bet on myself 10 times out of 10, and so push forward, I must.
And I will keep that sentiment, and others, in the forefront as I do so. I may need reminding sometimes, but the fact remains true. Hard is not impossible.
If you’ve ever needed a reminder of that yourself, here it is.
